I know I was kind of cryptic when I mentioned my friend's loss (lost), but I don't feel it's my news to share. However, since nobody (except Tara, I suppose :) ) knows who I'm talking about, it's probably ok. My friend's wife lost her baby last week, at a little over seven months. This was their first child, and they've been so excited for his (they finally learned the baby was a boy) arrival---.
I've been upset by this because I care about my friend and this horrible thing happened to him and his wife. Also, though, I've felt a strong connection with them because our due dates were exactly the same. --- I know that many of you know I was pregnant at the end of last summer (and miscarried at three months), but I also know this may be a surprise to some. Sorry I mention it like this, but I've decided it's time to end the silence on my blog---. My friend's tragedy has had me thinking much more lately about Adam's and my loss, and I think it may help me to be able to write about it once in awhile. Of course I'm not comparing the two situations, because they're quite different, but still - there's a connection. There's the reminder. There's empathy because I do understand what it's like to have your whole way of thinking about your world - your future - changed dramatically, not just once but twice - and emphatically.
Mostly I keep imagining all they've been through, and I can't stop. It's not only about how I feel a connection, etc. - It's about how I know this person and suddenly he is in so much pain. I know we all understand this, in one way or another, and I know that for myself I need to work on handling it better.
... So. After that heavy topic, what do I write?! --- I'm going to try to buy some 311 tickets because they're in the Cities this Easter. It's been so long since I've been to a concert, and this one is in a semi-private setting, I suppose because it's Easter. This is perfect because we don't have to choose which family we will spend the holiday with. This time, for the first time, we will do what we need to do, by ourselves. We'll need to save money for a hotel room, but already I'm excited. Wish me luck on landing the tickets :)
Happy Almost Friday!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
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8 comments:
Laura, I had no idea.... I'm so sorry (for you and your coworker). I'm sure the grief of losing a pregnancy is not easy to shake, and I hope the writing and the internet support help take the edge off.
Oh, that is so hard...May God touch them in a special way and may you be the hands of Christ in a special way.
Thank you so much for sharing, Laura. So many people are touched by this type of loss, and I know it must be terribly difficult to deal with. You (and your friend) are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hey Laura ... how brave of you to write about this here. It was really good to talk to you earlier -- I'm so glad you and Adam are planning some time for yourselves and I hope your Friday goes well. :) Love, N
Oh Laura, I didn't know. I'm so sorry dear one. You are such an amazing woman, you are so strong.
I'm shocked and saddened to hear about your and Adam's loss. I can't imagine what it must be like to go through something like that. It's very brave of you to write about it in your blog!
Dear Laura,
You know my history, and unfortunately I can say that I have known to many people who have had both early miscarriages, and late. A former colleague of mine lost their baby at 39 weeks, and I have had three acquaintances who have suffered losses between 4 - 8 months.
Despite my three beautiful babies, I still get a lump in my throat when I have to answer how many pregnancies I have had and lost. Despite my three, I still think about the 5 we lost.
The pain of losing a child, weather at 3 weeks, 3 months, term, or after birth is devastating, and there are many days when it feels life couldn't get worse. I have been there...
Please, please, please --- know that you are not alone in your pain, and also, let your friend know that as well. The time after a loss is so, so dark. I will be praying for them - and still for you!
i am so sorry for your friends loss honey and for yours ... thank you for sharing ...
you know my story and the loss of my twins and you know that i understand this loss and my heart goes out to both of you ...
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