Because I stumbled upon my blog, upon creating it (I was just trying to comment on someone else's and suddenly had my own), I put for my title the first thing that came into my mind... And since I'd at the time been obsessed with Michael Andrews' "Mad World" (a beautiful song from the movie Donnie Darko), those are the words I chose. Over the past few weeks, however, it has occurred to me that this might not be the best title for a space I have come to love and check in with daily-----. Aside from the fact that other people may be confused, even troubled by the title ("Is she depressed?" "Is she deranged, pessimistic, angry,...mad?"), I think it may be affecting my overall well-being and reasonable shot at an optimistic worldview. So, I changed my title to something that can help me remember that I am trying to get back to myself, to the part of me that loves sunflowers, and smiley faces, and the color yellow...and the part of my grandmother, Grace, that lies within me - her selflessness, her positive outlook, her love, her strength.

I am happy. I have more blessings than I can count and that I probably deserve. But somewhere along the way, even in the midst of all this goodness, I have become a tad bit cynical and pessimistic. I am glad I understand much of what needs to be changed in our "mad world", but I would rather put my focus on kindness, and smiles, and love. I had stopped being in awe of the sunflower, had forgotten why I loved it so much, but now I remember: It is beautiful, it is hearty, and it will bend any which way it has to - in the middle of a field, or a garden, or crammed against the side of a house - just to face the sun.