Finding Water: The Questions

I love these questions, Jessie. And I also love that you, too, have trouble recalling the exact definition of the word "autonomy". My god. It's just one of those words, I guess.

Here are my answers:

What brings you peace?
*Taking a bath, a walk, or some time to just sit on my round blue couch from my grandma and pray. I don't do the couch-sitting enough. I also feel peace when I go to church. Even though I am dealing with a lot right now regarding the Church, I still feel peace when I get myself there. I also love going to coffee shops with a notebook and a good book; I can re-collect myself in this way.
Where does God live for you?
*In my happy times, when I am good enough to realize that I am incredibly blessed. God lives at my family's cabin, too, where there is no electricity or running water, no tv or radio or computer or phone. I am yanked out of my busy life and forced to realize that God is in the quiet, in nature and in the family members who are with me - usually my dad, my brother and Adam.
What do you love?
*I love so many things, this is a hard question. My family, my friends, the hugs with my husband before we fall asleep, my dog, my students, this house I'm about to say goodbye to that has been so good to me....My house back home, my hometown, poetry, Papa John's pizza, ice cream cake...:), letters from my mom, visits from Mom and Dad, breakfasts at Perkins, making coffee and curling up in my blue couch (the one I share with Monty) to read. And more, and more......
What are you grateful for?
*I won't even make a long list here, though I could. First and foremost, I am grateful for my mom, my dad, my brother, my husband. I am grateful for my husband's family - they have welcomed me into the love they have built over the years. Look! I am starting a long list! No. Family. That is what I am most grateful for.
How do you escape the dull-drum fuglies?
*If I'm really in a state, I peel off in the car (I did this even when I was young and my dad would get so mad) and go to Book World. Really, no matter how upset I feel, the shelves of books and the lights calm me down. I seek out the books that will give me perspective, and I read a few pages. I find the movies, the CDs, the greeting cards, the magazines. I like to leave with something, even if it's just a bookmark, and somehow I feel so much better.
What part of your life and yourSelf could use a little more compassion?
*Myself. I remember this quote by Anne Morrow Lindbergh: "When one is out of touch with oneself, one cannot touch others." I don't handle my own mistakes very well--- I get very angry, and then I'll lash out at people around me, and myself, until I'm exhausted and no good to anyone. I want to take care of myself so that I can use my energy for helping others, for being a kinder person.
Where does your "true North" point to?
*I have seen a few other answers to this question, and it helps me to know I am not alone when I say I am not sure. I do know I am torn between career and motherhood, as many women are. I want to teach my students in Red Lake; they have become dear to me. They have become children I cannot walk away from. I also want to teach poetry in college. This is years away, but I feel it is something I am to do. BUT.....I also want to have children, and I want to be home with them. I don't want to learn of their first words, or their first steps, from someone else. Yet, I have not figured out how to reconcile these two desires. I pray I will be fortunate enough to find a middle ground.
...And, finally, What is your definition of autonomy?
*I think one of the most important parts of being self-directing is, of course, to have an idea of where you want to go, to know what you want to accomplish and how to get there. Then, just do the best you can. Make choices you know will help you get where you want to be---- But also, I think it's letting go a little of "direction" and finding independence in the "now". I know we've all experienced, in one way or another, the fragility of life, so I think there needs to be a balance between direction forward and happy contentment in the present.